You Can't Fix Stupid!


My grandfather was a very influential person in my life. I spent a lot of time with him as a young boy and I learned a lot from him. He didn’t go to college, he grew up on a farm and learned how to work with his hands. When something broke, he fixed it. He saved his money and paid cash for everything he ever owned, including his home. And he lived his life by a very simple set of observations about the world around him.


My grandfather believed there was no gray area. You were either right or wrong. He had no patience for explanations or excuses. So when my grandfather said he would do something, he did it, no matter what it cost him. 


So what were a couple of my grandfathers gems? What was his credo? What was his code? And I know, he probably borrowed or recreated a few of them! Well, here are a couple:


You can smell a turd as soon as you walk into the room. 


You can’t fix stupid.


There is no right way to do the wrong thing.


You can’t polish a turd.


You can’t bull$#!? a Bull$#!?er.


If you are in a room full of people and you don’t know who the jerk is, it’s probably you!


You say “I’m sorry” to make yourself feel better.


So why are these gems of grandfatherly wisdom valuable in our discussion about the game of fastpitch softball? It’s just a simple man’s way of giving us the guidance we need and should have the faith to share.


About the Author: Tory Acheson brings a wealth of knowledge to the Fastpitch Prep staff. He has coached at all levels of the game, including the last 25 years at the college level at the University of Wisconsin – Parkside, Tennessee Tech and Kennesaw State. He began his coaching career at the high school level spending 9 years Whitnall High School in Greenfield, Wis. and is now working as a professional softball instructor.